10 Things You Wish You'd Done at Tyrrell

This list is probably a bit late, but it's here now! The list of ten things you wish you had the chance to do at Tyrrell! And no, I'm not talking about "getting a Senior letter" or "getting my average to 90" *coughYaningcough*. I'm talking about the fun things easily (or not so easily) exploited by people. Some of the ideas here infamously capture the attention of every single student the first time they enter the building, while others are a bit... out of the ordinary, or "unique" as teachers like to denounce things by. In no particular order, here is the compiled "wish list" of activities!

1. Slide down the glass window in the library.

Ok, so I'm very sure that EVERYONE who's ever set foot in the school, (even the teachers and the random TDSB workers who upgrade our computers) have had a vice gripping urge to vault over the catwalk and slide down the ceiling/window that connects it to the library as though they were five years old, having fun at the park. While probably deemed one of the most forbidden activities, even those who've escaped over the Mexican/American border wouldn't dare try to cross here. Anyone who's been able to either slide down or climb up the transparent "void" and live to tell the tale would probably be instant heroes.

With potential teachers and snitching students who you thought were actually your friends lurking around the wide open space 24/7, it's no surprise that you never see people in the office for violating this rule. Seriously. If you were on that thing, you'd be visible from below (the carpeted area), above (the catwalk), in front, (again, the catwalk), and behind and around the sides (the library). Note that there actually have been people who've climbed to the summit. I once saw a girl being helped by another girl to get over the railing from the library afterschool. Which either means that they are insane, and should seek professional help immediately, or that they were given permission by someone (in which case that special someone should consult their therapist). Also, if you look closely at the glass from the carpetted area, you may notice that the layer of dust is severely disturbed in some places, forming streak marks. This proves that more than one or two people have dared to challenge the rules...

2. Stand on the roof.

Now, how cool would that be, if you had a bird's eye view of everybody moving about at lunch time? Haven't we all stared at the countless ladders scattered above to transport you from one section to another?The easiest way would be through Mr. K's classroom hallway. It leads to the lowest part of the roof, and the door tauntingly faces students as they enter for class. There's a ladder there that allows access to the higher platforms resulting from the, uh, "unique" uneven construction of our school that causes it to have four levels.

3. Hijack the PA system.

Okay, so this is one of the desires that I'm pretty sure not so many people have. But think about it: the expression on Mrs. W's face after she hears students mocking her on the morning announcements. Obviously, you'd be dead if you were caught, unless a certain Mr. Ch happens to drop by, give you a free lunch, and congradulate your daring *coughToothpickcough*. In which case it may or may not be worth it.

Of course, you don't have to take over just to pull a prank. You could always DO THE ANNOUNCEMENTS YOURSELF. If you're asking me why you would want to, think back a while. Remember that absolutely awful duo who did the announcements for a term, and you couldn't hear what on Earth they were saying? Yes, those two, who couldn't pronounce "magnificent", even on their second try? The pair that ruined our Food Drive notices? Do you want that again? ...Exactly.

Oh, and while you're up there, kindly steal the Cabaret CD along with the CD with the "Monday Morning" song, and cut them up the bandsaw, then incinerate them with Mr. C's blowtorch. Please. Everyone will benefit (except Mrs. W, but that's one person, compared to four hundred).

4. Try every one of Mrs. P's school famous cakes (including the variations).

Ahhhh... The delicious (and probably quite fattening) desserts that Mrs. Phillips brings to class. I don't have a list of all the types so you can't check and see if you've eaten them all, but note that if you went to Ottawa, you are automatically out of the running. If you were in 8J (aw, I have to use past tense to refer to us now), then sorry; you are also disqualified. That leaves the six people who were left behind from 8H. I know I haven't tried them all (I missed, like, one cake from our party), so that leaves five candidates.

5. Go through the staff only doors in the library.

Okay, so admittedly all of 8H has done this already (and possibly 7J when they were performing their play?) , but it's still worth mentioning. For more than a year, I, and others, were rather indignant about the fact that the teachers could just stroll between the circular tables, open a door, and instantly be on the other side of the school while we students had to take a much longer route. It's also awkward when you're telling a dirty joke in the hallway, and suddenly a teacher is a metre away from you, having utilised the magical teachers' portal, and very annoying when you sprint from the science lab to the library to find that Mrs. P is already there, waiting for you.

6. Have a banister sliding contest down the railings in the cafeteria pit.

It is the duty of the board of education and probably a thousand other people and organisations to protect the delicate frail bodies of students from smashing into several hundred pieces by shooting at light speed down the particle accelerator into the concrete ground target. Note that we are not at all travelling anywhere near Mach speed, much less light speed, nor are we being accelerated by magnets, nor is our goal to collide with the concrete ground that isn't concrete at all, but simple floor tiles. Oh, and we aren't that frail either, and we certainly will not smash into any pieces.

There are very clear and obvious benefits to this "sport", as it should be. Students can easily cut their travel time to classes by a few seconds (I mean, how often are you off by just a second, but end up marked late by Ms. C, who sees the deadline at exactly 9:00?) Sliding will also conserve the vital energy needed to function throughout the whole day, and will bring alertness to the minds of students, improving their sense of balance along the way, in effect reducing the number of slips and falls, or falls due to shoving.

Besides: I'm betting that more accidents from banister sliding have occured from startled children trying to get off the railing before a rapidly approaching teacher appears, rather than because of their imperfect sense of balance. And besides, it has been proven by us Giftees that running and then jumping results in far more injuries than sitting down *coughSingyucough*, as does lacrosse *coughToothpickandotherscough*, the most violent sport known to giftees whose injuries range from potential (shattered eyeglass lens from a ball hitting someone that would have been squarely in the eye had she not been wearing those) to painful (bleeding and swollen finger, either from the ball hitting it, or someone's racket), not to mention several bruises from accidentally-on-purpose kicks. And to think this all happened in half an hour...

Ahem. So in conclusion, we should we allowed to slide down the banister.

7. Make illegal objects in Design and Technology classes.

Again, many people have done this, but it's worth mentioning. There are always those who finish their class work well ahead of time, so they decide to try and make something fun in the shop. Several objects have been made by people, (e.g. swords, other weapons) as well as some more, er, self satisfying, intimate objects, (obviously without Mr. C's knowledge).

Apart from showing off your creativity, you can also show off your gaming skills, and try to beat Mr. C at any of his video games, or display your hyper sensitive reflexes in a game of foosball. (If you beat him, he might give you a drink... or a granola bar... or whatever he has in his "second home".) The last thing worth mentioning is that the shop is a great place for PIDDLE WARS (i.e. filling syringes and squirting each other with them [which I only got to do once])!

8. Steal food from the staff room.

Remember those times where, on your trip to the office, the closer you got, the better it smelled? That's because it was probably one of those, "Okay, staff. Tomorrow is Thursday. Let's celebrate!" occasions where the teachers all get to pig out in their lounge. And they just have to pick the most fragrant foods, like popcorn or roasted chicken. Of course, why bother to leave the staff room door closed? The children deserve to know what they're eating, right?

At least at Tyrrell, it's better than it was at Terry Fox. Back there, every Friday was treat day. And the teachers would frequently hold pot lucks. And the staff room was right down the hall from our classroom. Everyone who walked by would see the cookies and cakes, and smell the sugar and spices. Sometimes it actually was tempting to go inside, especially when the room was vacant.

While nobody that I know of has actually tried to steal food, there are those who've suggested it, which is what reminded me to include this on the list.

9. Visit a teacher at their home.

While at first, the thought of being trapped inside a teacher's lair may be your worst nightmare, keep in mind that teachers actually are human beings, just like us, and that they have a family, just like us. And indeed, it would be quite fascinating to see the inside of one's residence, especially Mrs. P...

I, myself have been to Mr. C's million dollar house, situated in one of the wealthy neighbourhoods of downtown Toronto.

10. Get to know each other just a little bit better.

Almost everyone I've talked to has expressed the concern that they haven't really given everyone an equal opportunity to befriend them, and regret it. This year was very likely the last opportunity for us all to stay together, because many will not be returning to the gifted program next year. And by then, the number of people will be completely overwhelming, so that it's not so much a tight group, but several clumps of people. I have a lot on my mind about this, but I'm not really sure how to say it all.

And with that sudden ending, this list is complete. Now I'm getting all nostalgic too. I hope that you've enjoyed reading it, and I'd love to see what you think, or if there is anything you wish you had done at Tyrrell, whether "unique" or not.

Look for the related article, "10 Things Everyone's Secretly Done at Tyrrell" that may or may not be coming soon! (Uh... It depends on if I can actually think of ten things, and whether or not I want to make another list.)