Equality

You know what really REALLY pisses - excuse the language - me off? When people say that so and so are equal. And no, I don't mean math, the only place where that is actually possible. I'm talking about everything else in life. Let's face it: the truth can be ugly. But that definitely doesn't mean we should go around deceiving ourselves and believing that things in life can actually be the same.

Go take two sheets of blank white paper. Now look at them... Can you really say that those two sheets are equal? They might be the same size, and maybe even the exact same colour, but that doesn't mean that they are the same. The particles and paper fibres are different. That is just one of the simple examples. If you really get deep down into it, you'll begin to make some pretty gruesome discoveries.

Can you really say that you get treated as equally by your friend as their other friends? More so, can you even say that you treat all your friends equally? When it all comes down to it, I don't think so. And I'm not even talking about biased-ness - it's a simple fact of life. You just can't treat two people the exact same way... Maybe similarly, but definitely not the same. Even the whole issue of racism and how men are "superior" to women are never going to change. If you ask me, I don't believe women will ever be treated equally as men, or black people as equally as white. And it's not that I'm a big pessimist or anything; I just think that sometimes the world that we are born into is already set, and it's not easy to change. I do have hope that one day everyone can be relatively equal - and that will make this world a better place - but I honestly doubt we will ever be able to be truly equal. Perhaps some people get really ticked off about this but come on, you'd better get used to it because it's not going to change.

So in conclusion, equality is really just a state of mind. We can wish and hope for it all we want, but it's not going to happen. In fact, let me put it this way: Equality in life = World Peace = a Utopian world = not going to happen. I know what you're thinking... that's so UNFAIR! But really, it's OK... live life to the fullest and soon enough you won't even realize what you're missing.

Oddly Infuriating: Colds

Obviously nobody likes to get sick. But usually, they don't have chronic conditions that make illness twice as bad. Fevers and nausea can be really annoying because they render you quite useless, but pretty much any other common syptom can be ignored or dealt with easily.

Colds happen to be about the most common ailment ever. They can strike me just about all the time, except during the middle of summer. But as of October 31st last year, I've learned that colds are worse than the flu. It all started that morning... I woke up and felt weird. My ears were burning. But other than that, there was nothing wrong. I washed up, then, feeling a little light headed, went to eat breakfast. By the time I was done, however, I was quite sure I had a fever. Nevertheless, I went to school. And there, waiting for the bell to ring, I discovered that I experienced severe pain when I tried to roll my eyes, so that to look at something, I would have to move my whole head. By the end of the day, I had a 39 degree fever (with absolutely no nausea, which is extremely bizarre) and as I walked home, there would be these moments where I fainted for a fraction of a second. My fever disappeared the next day, however, my nose began to run. And it wasn't like how a nose should run. My mucous was thick and yellow, but I wasn't congested at all. Eventually, this went away, but soon enough, I had another cold. And this was when I learned that that had been a sinus infection, and I now had a chronic case.

Colds now it takes around three weeks to end, and I have caught one every month since then. Which means annoying nights in which I roll around for an hour and a half trying to find a position that would let me breathe. And that is precisely why I'd rather have a fever again, instead.

Oddly Infuriating: Save the Whales

I recently read an article about Lance Armstrong's battle with cancer. Yes, he is still talking about it, and how it affected him and made him want to help others... And how he didn't really care about it before he was diagnosed... He even said he'd rather have cancer again than win the Tour de France.

Ok, PLEASE. Just shut it.

Now I have absolutely nothing against Armstrong, but it feels like being told to go to bed at 7:00 in the summer when I hear the exact same cliche messages and exaggerations over and over again. "Don't do drugs", "Global warming is bad", "Count your blessings". Whether it be volunteers coming to our schools to talk about animals and how they are losing their habitats, or celebrities donating to charity, these things simply don't mean anything anymore. They are just so expected that nobody cares. Or at least I don't. It is just not possible for someone who's never experienced or seen them to relate to these things, and once they are practised or seen enough, then they become integrated into society (what I hope to do with sniffing people). And I'm glad for that. If I had a dollar a day for everything I could be worrying about and trying to do, a) I'd have a VERY sad life, whether meaningful or not, and b) I'd be richer than Carlos Slim after a while, who recently overthrew Gates (ha!) in the Forbes list of wealthiest people. Maybe the day will come when I'm in these situations, but I'd rather worry later than now.

The Many Wonders Of Gaming: The Sims 3

I may not be a hardcore, insanely obsessed gamer, but I have my guilty pleasures. What's the game we all love, the one that allows you to live the life you've always dreamed of (or live someone else's dream) in the comfort of your own home? No, I'm not talking about Surrogates (wasn't that a bad movie?). I'm talking about The Sims.

It started quite a few years back as a small, unknown game that no one really played. The graphics were questionable, the effects disastrous compared to ours today... But this game made millions. Millions. The gaming craze that was The Sims spread like wildfire and took over, changing life as we knew it... That is, if you played. The Sims 2 was released a few years later, along with many, many expansion packs that allowed you to add pets, seasons, and even small businesses into your game--for some extra cash.

The most recent version of the game, The Sims 3, was released June 2nd, 2009, and already there are millions of users playing. I, of course, have caught Sim Fever, and am currently working on developing a very interesting and entertaining household: an athlete, a painter, and four babies (two of which newborns) living under one roof.

Exciting, huh? For those of you that don't play this wonderful game, here is a list of some things you can do with the game:

Traits: Traits define your Sim as a unique member of the town, and have effects on things that the Sim does. Some traits you can choose for your Sim are Artistic, Evil, Hates The Outdoors, Family-Oriented, Neurotic, Vegetarian, and Workaholic. Each trait comes with its own ups and downs (for example, Sims that are Bookworms can read faster and make the best authors). Babies and Toddlers start off with two traits, gain one as Children, gain another as Teens, and gain their fifth and final trait as Young Adults. Babies can be born with some traits preselected, and if a Sim ages well (does well in school, etc.), you may be able to choose a new trait for them.

Careers: Your Sim can be an active part of the town workforce by getting a job at one of the many locations in town. Your Sim can be a sports coach (the stadium), a surgeon (the hospital), or even a robber (the criminal centre). Sims can get jobs by looking in the newspaper, searching on the computer, or visiting the location themselves.

Skills: Sims can learn skills to help them with their careers and throughout their lives. Skills include painting, guitar, logic, athletic, cooking, handiness, fishing, gardening, and charisma. Some skills come with rewards along the way--for example, Sims high in the cooking skill will prepare better quality meals, putting them in better moods.

Basic Needs: All Sims have the same basic needs, which allow Sims to live comfortable lives... Or, at least, to live. These needs are Hunger, Bladder, Hygiene, Social, Energy, and Fun. Sims can use objects to make sure all their needs are properly fulfilled (for example, talking to other Sims to fill Social or watching TV to add to Fun). If a Sim doesn't have enough of some needs, he/she will live a very uncomfortable life (their mood will go way down) and may even die (mainly if the Sim doesn't get enough to eat).

Interaction With Others: Sims need to interact with other Sims, not only to add to their Social needs, but for their own enjoyment. Relationships are built over time (Friends lead to Good Friends which eventually lead to Best Friends). Sims can get married, have children, and move into each other's households. Sending your Child and Teenager Sims to school and your Adult Sims to work is a great way to make sure they meet lots of people.

Create-A-Style: This new tool is found in The Sims 3 as an upgrade from The Sims 2. You are able to virtually choose any colour and pattern for any object you choose. You can change the colour of chairs, beds, and even Sim hair to your exact specifications.

The game really is amazing, and the possibilities are endless. However, there is one thing that really takes the cake: watching your Sims die. There are tons of ways to kill your Sim... If you think about it, there are dangers everywhere. (See post Sadistic Gaming to explain my sudden shift to the Dark Side.)

-You can build a pool, stick your Sim inside, watch them swim happily, and then take the ladder our. Your Sim will be trapped and be swimming to their death.

-You can build a fence around your Sim or trap them in a room, then leave them there for a while until they starve to death.

-You can start a fire and trap your Sim near it so they burn to death.

-You can try to repair an electrical object (there's the risk of being electrocuted), and, if electrocuted, keep repairing until your Sim gets a shock so powerful it stops their heart.

-You can age your Sim rapidly (change the settings of gameplay) and simply watch them die of old age.

The list goes on and on, but what really amuses me is when the Sim "expires", as the game calls it. The Sim falls to the floor, a hooded figure carrying a scythe (the Grim Reaper) appears from nowhere, and suddenly, incredibly dramatic music starts playing. The Grim Reaper proclaims whatever words he/she has for the deceased Sim (in Simlish, of course), there is a flash of light, and the Sim turns into a small box, which can later be turned into a headstone. The Grim Reaper may stick around for a little bit afterward to comfort the family members that are left, but he/she usually just disappears in a puff of smoke.

And just like that, your Sim is gone... Unless they turn into a ghost. Dead Sims sometimes come back at night to haunt the household, terrifying the members inside. I find this extremely amusing, but it can be annoying at times: screaming at a ghost can get in the way of your Sim's usual activities.

So now that I've given you the basic description/spent fifty paragraphs describing the whole game, go and play The Sims 3! (Unless you don't have it already. Then go buy it... AND THEN play it!)

P.S. For you fellow gamers, here are some cheats to start you off. To activate the cheat box, press Ctrl+Shift+C and type in a command.

kaching - adds 1000 Simoleons to the lot's money

motherlode - adds 50,000 Simoleons to the lot's money

enablellamas - enables llamas (I have absolutely no idea how this can be of any use to anyone)

help - lists all commands

unlockOutfits on/off - unlocks all outfits in Create-A-Sim mode

Good luck and happy gaming!

All Science Geography Challenge

So, I was reading the study material for the All Science Challenge, which is a trivia style competition done in groups of 4, and I came across some very insightful information. Now, I knew that I was no good at geography, but it never occured to me that I didn't even know the number of continents on the Earth!

Question: How many continents are there?

a) 1
b) 2
c) 4
d) 6
e) 7

My answer: e) 7
Book says: "...Pangaea, was fragmented into several pieces and floated apart over geological time from 225 million years ago to present day to form the six continents."

Oh dear, it seems as though the correct answer was d)! That must explain why I answered incorrectly for the next question too!

Question: Name the continents.

My answer: North America, South America, Asia, Europe, Australia, Antarctica, Africa
Book says: North America, South America, Africa, Antarctica, Australia, Asia, India

Oh, my! I had not realised that India was an Australia wannabe and had proceeded to disinherit itself from Asia! And apparently, some decisive Asians had decided to assimilate the Europeans. At least we now know what continent Russia is on. Wait, but something is wrong... I count seven continents either way! That's odd. Maybe India is actually four tenths of a continent and they rounded down...? I really need to review my textbook!

What amazes me is how they managed to find a picture with no Europe, and India marked as a continent. Even more amazing is the person who managed to overlook all this while editing, and possibly more amazing were the authors, or author. Apparently, you can't be good at both science and geography.

Pressure and Speed

Question: If water is forced through the obviously sealed and hole-less pipe from the wide side to the narrow side...
_____________
________/
________ <--
\_____________

a) The water pressure and speed would both go up
b) The water pressure would go up and the speed would go down
c) The water pressure would go down but the speed would go up
d) The water pressure and speed would both go down

This was one of the questions in the science section on the TOPS test (an entry exam to a math-science based high school program). If you picked a) like Yaning and I and probably tons of other people... You are incorrect. As obvious as this might have seemed, it isn't true. If you picked b), you are incorrect as well. If you picked c) like Tom (I think), then you probably either got mixed up with the answers and their letters, or you've heard of Bernoulli's principle.

My question was, "How can the pressure go down if the speed is going up? That's like saying the less force I use to kick this ball, the further it will go." Well, Bernoulli's principle states that when an inviscid flow (one without any viscosity) speeds up, the pressure is reduced due to a conversion from potential to kinetic energy. Also, because the molecules are moving faster, they bump into others more frequently and so they become further apart, resulting in less per unit volume This law is also applied to airfoils.

The shape of it causes air flowing over the foil to move faster and therefore its pressure decreases. The air that flows under the foil is at a higher pressure now and so it creates a lift.

Obviously, d) is now incorrect.

Oddly Infuriating: Children

Very hypocritical, but this is just how I feel. Young children repulse me sometimes. And I'm not talking about two year olds, I'm talking about 5, 6, 7, and up until, like 14. I'm really not sure why, and this may be arrogant, but I just feel really superior compared to them. When I hear them talking, it just... I don't know, it bothers me... The simplicity... it burns... This makes me wonder how the mental changes could occur so fast. In just a few years, we sober up from childhood, stuck in between it and adulthood with new worries, responsibilities, hobbies, and attitudes. That's the beauty of being a teenager.

One time in March last year, I was coming home from school and I was walking down my street. Now this was a very unusual day, because the temperature had risen high enough so that it smelled like summer. Whenever I walk alone, I tend to think a lot and so I was just there minding my own business, when to my horror, I saw children everywhere... riding bikes, playing tag and basketball, and walking around... they were all being happy! Now call me Scrooge, but I was so infuriated by that sight. "What are you doing?! It's still March! You aren't supposed to be out here! Stop having fun! It's still too early!" And I wasn't even in a bad mood that day.

Obviously, I'd make a terrible parent.

They were in the kitchen, sitting on the stools. One, tapping her fingers, the other, gazing out the window at the glaring sun. It was silent but for her taps. Tap-tap, tap-tap, tap-tap...

"So?" He said, his voice cutting through the stifling air.

"...what?"

"So, what are we doing today?"

She paused before she answered, as if she was thinking. "I thought you had something planned."

He sighed heavily, and stood up. "I always come up with the ideas. It's your turn."

She rolled her eyes and resumed her tapping. Tap-tap, tap-tap, tap-tap...

"I've got it!"

She looked up and raised an eyebrow.

"We are going to make slushies."

The corners of her mouth quirked up. "Why?" she asked, on the verge of amusement.

" 'Cause. We can. And it's hot outside. And you have ice and everything."

She stood up and yanked open the freezer. "This is all I have."

"We'll economize on ice, then."

"Fine."

The kitchen started to fill with sounds: the whirr of a blender, the clink of glass, laughter.

"You try yours first. It looks disgusting!"

"Speak for yourself. It tastes fine!"

He slurped up a bit of both. "These are a bit bland. Yours especially. They need-"

"No." She knew what he wanted, and there was no way he was adding any more-

"Why not?"

"No!"

"Come on, it won't hurt."

"Yes, it can. You can get diabetes. Plus, you've already put in a full half cup of sugar."

"A full half cup?"

"Yes, it-"

"Yes? Yes, I can put in more sugar? Why, thank you!" He picked up the jar at the same time she reached for the one next to it.

"Wait! No! Stop!"

"Nuh-uh. You said I could put in sugar!"

"That isn't-"

"Too late. Now, tell me how much better this tastes than yours."

She looked at the glass with dismay. "I'd rather not." She backed up a little, until she was against counter.

"Fine. If you're too wimpy to taste the awesomeness of my drink, I will."

While he took a sip, she turned around and found the jar she was looking for.

She waited for his reaction to the drink, hiding the container behind her back. "Not quite as 'awesome' as you'd thought it would be, right?"

"Well, it isn't bad, just not... what I expected. It kind of tastes really weird."

She held out the jar so he could read the label.

"That's because you added salt."

Power to the People

"Power to the People" can mean many things. Power to the people as in the right of expression, the freedom to vote, or power to "all" the people, like in communism. No power at all to the people would mean dictatorship. And in no way is Canada a cross of all of them, right?

Wait, what?

Well, that's what I thought before my Geography textbook told me otherwise. I personally believe that the words "economy", "market", "USA", "Canada", "mixed", and "North Korea" do not belong on the same page. In fact, here's a short comparison of what the three countries look like:

North Korea, USA, and Canada, respectively.

Even if you're a person who has never ventured out of your basement playing games like World of Warcraft or Maple Story, more than likely you've heard enough on your online travels that Canada is a place that looks like this:

and not this:

As seen in the background, the game here is to shoot the American infidel in the chest.

Pictured: American children celebrating their over-patriotism.

Not-pictured: Lumberjacks who live in igloos riding moose to the local Tim Horton's.

I think the authors were just too eager to picture Canada as the centre of everything, and convince Canadian school children that their country was a multi-cultural centre for everything.

Oddly Infuriating: Over the Shoulder

Ok, so this one really isn't that uncommon at all. As a matter of fact, it probably relates to everyone. But I think it's more extreme in my case. I absolutely hate it when others watch me work. I CAN'T work when I consiously know that others are watching, unless I'm working with them.

I can't play the piano when others are listening: I screw up. I can't do math when others are watching. I screw up. I can't read out loud when others are listening. I screw up. I guess it's because I'm afraid of being judged. Actually, I know I'm afraid of being judged. I'm afraid of screwing up, but it ends up that way anyways. And I hate how obvious it shows.

Hmmm... Interesting, I just made that connection. I mean, I knew that already, but I've never really thought it out that clearly. Anyways, the absolute worst part is when people stare at the screen while I'm typing an essay or something. Then, I can't write, like, at all. I just sit there and wait for them to go away, or I keep myself busy by wording things terribly and being very generic. Then I hold the backspace key and pretend I never typed anything.

Math is a close comparison, which usually ends up with me saying that 10% of 628 is 62 or 28. And 7 x 3 is 24.

www.StrangeBusiness.com's patented way to stop this from happening

Obsessions: Layered

This is about as random and specific as an obsession can get. I don't even do it consciously - it's become more of a habit, lately. And, according to my friends, it's weird. [Yeah, I know, "What's so new about that?"]

You know, how sometimes, you have a very specific way of doing things? Maybe you need to organize your papers in a special order, or you like to prepare your food just the right way. Maybe you have a specific way of eating food, like eating the toppings or sauce first.

In fact, some foods are meant to be eaten part by part. Oreos, for example. I mean, who hasn't tried a Oreo lick race at least once? [If you haven't, you need to get out more. :] Most chocolates and other treat-like things are pretty tasty if you eat them bit by bit, too.

Have you caught on yet?

Chicken, cinnamon buns, coffee crisp, bubble tea, yogurt, salads, eggs, cereal [with milk], soups, bananas, oranges, pasta, girl guide cookies, and almost every other food you can think of, I will eat in layers.

Some of these aren't really that odd. A lot of people eat fruit bottom yogurt without mixing it (which is what you're SUPPOSED to do) and I know a few people who unravel their cinnamon buns when eating them.

But, see, I go to more extremes. I dissect my food. Minus the examination...

Chicken: I don't mean the kind with breading (is that what you call it? The crispy stuff on disgustingly oily deep fried stuff?), just plain chicken. I separate it into little strips, and eat the strips one by one. Which sometimes means I'll take forever to eat one.

Salad: I eat the lettuce, then tomatoes, then cucumbers, then whatever else is in it. [E.g. apples, meat. ]

Eggs: I always eat the white, then the yolk, unless it's scrambled.

Bananas: They're naturally split down their middle in 3 parts, so I eat each naturally split section individually.

Oranges: No, I do not mean "by layers" as in peeling the orange. That's lame. I mean eating the skin covering each slice first, then eating the fruity part inside. Similar to peeling grape skins, since you [generally] eat both parts.

Girl Guide cookies: I specifically mean the chocolate ones with a mint filling. I eat the cookie at the bottom, then scrape off the chocolate, then eat the mint filling.

A diagram of how Yaning is planning on devouring the world. Layer by layer.

Interestingly enough, for most of the things I eat by layers, I eat parts I don't like as much first. Like I'm saving the "best for last."

Huh. That's very insightful... I only hope my OCD-ish way of doing it doesn't mean anything...

~Yaning

Dances With Aliens 2

Even Neyteri had some doubts about his awesomely stupid plan.

If you're still shocked by how "The Hurt Locker" beat "Avatar," wait till you see the next Avatar film. To put it this way: Avatar is a visual spectacle, but it's definitely overrated. The whole concept of the story revolves around a cripple who betrays mankind to get with some alien girl. And now that the aliens have beaten the humans, what are they going to put in the 2nd movie? Another alien tribe that attacks them? I hope once everybody gets over the amazing graphics of this movie they'll eventually come to their senses that Avatar is nothing more than "Pocahontas in Space " (not my quote). The Academy Awards aren't perfect either. I've seen The Hurt Locker and I honestly think that Up was better. I've yet to see Inglourious Basterds, but I'm certain it will bring more to the table than the Hurt Locker and "Dances with Aliens".

Bad Advice

Dear Advice Columnist,

For the last few months, there's been this really annoying person who has a locker next to me. He doesn't respect my space at all! He opens the locker door ALL the way, so that I can't open mine. I have to wait for him to finish every morning, because when I ask him to stop, he doesn't listen to me and continues to block my locker. Sometimes, he insults me and purposefully steps into my space! And it's not only me he does this to. I've heard complaints from the (owner of the) locker on the other side of him. I don't want to physically force him away each time, because I don't think that will solve my problem.

I keep tolerating him when he pushes his door all the way open and drops his stuff right in front of my locker, and I keep asking him not to block mine, but he never listens. In fact, when I do, it makes it worse! What should I do? Talking to him doesn't seem to have any effect. How can I get him to respect my personal space?

Tired of Tolerating

Dear Tired,

I have known you for long enough to know when you are speaking too highly of yourself. Firstly, you have to respect the fact that you sometimes do become excessively violent (even if you do not think so yourself) and that this is not a very serious issue. I'm sure there are other things that bother you more than this, and that "locker space" is not a reasonable advice column topic. Second of all, I ask you to put yourself in the shoes of the person you are "flaming." How would you feel if you were being wrongly humiliated and insulted? So my advice is for you to keep your trap shut and your ideas to yourself.

Advice Column

The above was a writing piece we did in class, where we wrote letters to Advice Columnists, and they wrote back. I wrote the inquiry letter. Toothpick wrote the reply.

If you're wondering why his reply was so... unprofessional, it may have had to do with the fact that he was the one who kept blocking access to my locker. Personally, I find his response highly amusing. I don't think he understood that my problem was the fact that this person was so obnoxious and “un”respectful that I couldn't stand them anymore. Of course, I didn't dare use such offensive words in my letter, yet he thought

I was insulting him. How very sorry I am to hear that. Although, I did feel very special when he said that he knew me! How coincidental that I know the writer of a popular advice column!

The following are more of the letters we wrote, and the not-so-helpful responses our classmates gave back - of course, none were quite as rude or unprofessional as mine. I feel so unique.

Dear Expert,

Recently, this guy I know has been eyeing me strangely. He follows me around and keeps trying to wrap his arms around me. I'M a GUY too! He's been making me feel really uncomfortable and my friends call him words such as "fag" and "homo." Yesterday, he grabbed my hand and held on to it like we were having a relationship - in front of the whole class! I got laughed at by everyone. He didn't seem to mind, but I felt shameful on the inside. I’ve already tried telling him to stay away from me and that I wasn't interested, but it has no effect. He continues to harass me everyday. What should I do?

Straight Guy

Dear "Straight",

Go to someone like your parents. It may be embarrassing at first, but once this ordeal is settled, you and your partner will feel a lot better. Trust me on this, I'm a doctor.

Snail

Ph.D in engineering

P.S. Have you tried coming out of the closet?

_________

Dear Ask Me,

My friend needs help. She is a pyromaniac, and I think she enjoys hurting herself. Everyday after school, she goes home and lights candles. Lots and lots of candles. Then, she gathers them and sits on them. She tells me that it is calming, and that she doesn't feel any pain, but I don't believe her. I am afraid that she is going to burn herself and her house down. What should I tell her to get her to stop?

Concerned Friend

Dear Concerned,

Clearly, your friend does not understand the dangers of her actions, so you must show her the consequences. Fill her room with carbon monoxide and wait for it to explode. After the incident is over, I guarantee she will never try to light candles again. If that doesn't work, subtly point out the dangers to her. Tell her that burning candles releases CO₂into the atmosphere, and describe graphic stories of historical sadists that burned people.

Ask Me! Advice

_________

Dear Expert,

I am an eighth grader at J.B. Tyrrell. There's this guy in my class who keeps sniffing my hoodie and trying to steal it from me. This is even more awkward because he is a guy, too. Please tell me how to get him to stop sniffing me and everyone else. It's creepy.

Help!

Creeped Out

Dear Creep,

Be a MAN! A man knows when to draw the line when his problem occurs. All you have to do is run away and hide in the girls' washroom whenever he approaches you. (Don't worry about the girls. They won't mind.) You can also try telling him firmly to stop, but that may not work in certain cases. Besides, why would a guy want to sniff your hoodie?! That is plain weird. Just be glad he isn't sniffing your socks or something.

Expert in Advice

Some of these were real problems, if not somewhat exaggerated, although a few were completely made up. At least now we know never to take the advice of our classmates! I sincerely hope that none of us actually did.

~Yaning

Canadian, Eh?

Awesome.

That's right. We're Canadian. Gasp. We say 'zed' instead of 'zee'. We spell things like 'color' as 'colour', and 'rumor' as 'rumour'. Our national sports are lacrosse, and, quite obviously, hockey (That's right, hockey is Canada's game.). We love peace (or so they say). Unfortunately for all of you, we actually DON'T eat everything with maple syrup, and only some of us up north actually use dogsleds. What a shame.

Okay, so Canada's awesome. Don't be so jealous. :D

Proof that I'm not Alone!

8H's teacher has commented that the act of sniffing other people is "not weird... it's very weird". Well, we aren't the only ones who do it! There is a group on Facebook called The People Sniffing Appreciation Society, and it has over 150 members! Except... those people don't keep it "domestic". They run up to random people and take a whiff. And instead of loving that fresh detergent scent that Lazy Y has, they crave the sweaty natural body odor which I find to be quite undesirable.

Take that, society and cultural norms!

I think I'll do my mandatory 2-5 minute speech on why sniffing people should be normal. I'll probably look really stupid and no-life and somewhat desperate, but at least I'm passionate about it.

Oddly Infuriating: Product Descriptions

I am now attempting to start a series of unusual things that annoy me, that I would assume most other people are fine with, or don't find quite as bad. First up: Package descriptions.

You know how things like bags of chips or cookies sometimes have a description on the back of the packaging, which describes the product? (E.g. "These *insert object here* were made with pure *insert ingredient here* for that great, fresh taste!) Yeah, well I compulsively read those over and over again, even though I can expect to be really ticked off afterwards.

Certain companies like to use the exact same message for every type or flavour of the product. I just find it so annoying when something says "These Sour Cream and Onion flavour potato chips are made with premium quality potatoes fried in pure sunflower oil for that extra crispy, fresh taste!" and then "Sour Cream and Onion" is replaced with "BBQ" or "Sea Salt and Vinegar". It gives me a very strong impression of laziness. How much time does it take to write an extra sentence? I’m not yet at the point where I would consider not buying a product because of it, but this would affect my quality rating. Is there anyone else who feels this way or something similar to it?

The Tuesday Chronicles

Most of the other Tuesday Chronicles concern a single dismal event that fell on a Tuesday. Those might just be coincidence, you may comment. Well. Terrible Tuesdays strike in all ways, shapes, and forms. Something small like a miscommunication isn't usually very bad luck. But when those things start to pile on top of each other...

You just know it has to be a Tuesday.

The Winter Concert at J.B. Tyrrell

11:30 a.m., during dress rehearsal

"This is so boring... We aren't even playing. Just waiting for the stage crew to set up and for the Strings people to come on stage," my friend remarks, sitting next to me. I nod my head in agreement, but I know that the rehearsal is quickly coming to a close - the empty feeling in my stomach is more than enough to remind me.

"What time is it?" I ask, hoping that it is close to 11:30, when we can go to lunch.

"11:26. And 49 seconds."

I roll my eyes, but smile anyways, because we can leave soon.

As everyone rushes to the auditorium doors, I wait for the aisles to clear - I don't feel like getting trampled today. As I wait to pack away my instrument, I notice one of my friends a couple of rows in front, who seemed to be having some sort of trouble. I leave my mouthpiece, instrument, and sheet music in the now deserted row, and walk over to see if I can help.

It turns out that she had been feeling sick all morning, and had just vomited. It would be funny, if the situation wasn't so serious. We help her get to the washroom so she can clean up. It's evident that she'll have to go home. She stays in the washroom stall for a while, calming down. Two head back to school with our instruments, while the rest of us waited with her.

This isn't even the unlucky part - of course, it's unfortunate that she was sick at all. When I return to the row with my music and mouthpiece, they've vanished. Please tell me I put it with the case, I silently plead to myself. Or maybe, someone else took them for me. I don't even care about the music anymore. I can always get another copy. I need the mouthpiece! The concert is today.

As we return to school, I forget about my missing mouthpiece and music. I convince myself that I will find it, or that someone else picked it up for me.

6:45 p.m., in the warm up room

"I hate Tuesdays!"

"I still think it's just coincidence."

"Then explain why I had to lose my mouthpiece on my music today of all days! I even knew that something like this would happen, just not this specific event. Now, what do I do? I don't have my mouthpiece!"

"Go borrow one from someone else."

"No one else plays the French Horn. And it's not like I can use a trumpet or baritone mouthpiece, or something."

"Uh. Ask Ms. C."

"Eh....... Fine. She won't be happy. I've already had to ask her for music. How much worse can this day be?"

"I still don't think Tuesdays are unlucky. Maybe it's because you think something bad is going to happen, so then you anticipate it, and when it does happen, y-"

"But the worst things happen only on Tuesdays. Like my sprained ankle. And infected cut. And missing the bus. And THIS. They've never happened before, or since, for that matter, since Tuesday."

"Whatever. Now go borrow a mouthpiece."

"Well, I'd better prepare myself to become an object of annoyance."

"What?"

"Nevermind. Go and practise with your mouthpiece."

Thursday, Two Days After the Concert

3:02 p.m., school is dismissed

I close my locker door with a slam and quickly click the lock with one hand, the other holding my bag and jacket. I squish out from between Toothpick [Ugh. Stupid locker blocker. Idiot midget. Well, he used to be. Now he's taller than me. Just like most of the other guys. What's wrong with you people?! Stop growing! It makes us feel bad! Especially when we have to look UP to talk to you.] and H.S. and start walking towards the entrance. Or exit. Same difference.

All of a sudden, Al comes up to me, and suddenly, I remember that he had been there when Eddie had vomited, and had brought my instrument back to the school. I know what he is going to tell me before I even look at him.

He's holding my mouthpiece in his hand.

I feel like hitting my head on the locker door I had just slammed shut.

Hide... Shoot... Dodge... Sprint Up... Hide...

It's interesting how something so violent could look so benign. As I was driven to the front of the site, I saw what seemed to be this nice white office building, but really, I knew it housed something much more "sinister". To add to that ominous mood, the entrance was hidden; a simple back exit door with a plaque that read "Defcon Paintball". As soon as I entered, I smelled the paint. It also happened to be poorly lit, compared to the sunshine pouring in from outside. For a moment, I couldn't see, then right in front of me, I saw rows and rows of different models of paintball guns, or "markers", as they like to call them to keep it softcore. It was a gift shop-like area, with equipment and clothing placed neatly around. To the left was where the other twenty-some people were waiting, and soon we got started. The first time for almost everyone, I can imagine that a lot of people were wondering about the pain. I decided that the time to worry about it was when I was actually hit.

After receiving instructions about how to use the marker, we were assigned a team and played a simple round of 3 life elimination. The field seemed pretty small, but all the hollowed out barrels and sand bags made everyone invisible. The first place I got hit was in the watch. Then I got hit in the helmet. Finally, the shell made contact with my shoulder. It stung, but felt very familiar. After each round, we would head back into the waiting area, and fill up on ammo, eat, and get our guns checked if necessary.

Our ref decided to make a rule that the last one ready would get shot in the behind. At first I didn't approve of it, and I was furious when he wasn't kidding. Poor A.Y. was forced to bend over and take it. I didn't watch, and glared at the opposite wall, muttering about cruelty and corrupt people, wondering how the ref would like it if I shot him point-blank in the groin. But he did it so many times that I got used to the ritual. We played several rounds, each with different variations like the number of lives we had, or capture the flag. After 4 hours of crouching, sprinting and shooting, we were all worn out and heavily paintcoated. Everyone had gotten shot several times... All except Lazy Y.

I spent a long time wondering how he could be so good at something he hadn't tried before. He didn't get shot at all, and killed so many people. Only until some random kids showed up with semi-automatic markers with flashing lights and other professional equipment did he finally take one to the elbow. I didn't see how it was possible to transfer "virtual" skills from playing video games into real life. Then I realized that I was being stupid, and I had been assuming the whole time that he was only good because he played video games. Obviously, I should give him more credit.

Lazy Y was like the guy here, but without the awesome dual wielding paintball guns. He got a rental instead.

Pencil Case

It's Monday morning, and I'm at the school library, filling out some last-minute details in my agenda.

[I guess I was really groggy that morning, because...well, because this happened.]

When I finish, I take my agenda, pen, and sweater, which I had taken off after I came inside, back to my bag. As I pack them into my backpack, I realize that I'm holding my pen, and I don't have my pencil case. I look back towards the counter where I was sitting, and it was nowhere to be found.

I spot SingYu standing right in front of the desk, so I ask him "Have you seen my pencil case? I swear it was just there."

"Uh, no. I have no idea where it is."

At this point, I get suspicious. You see, SingYu is somewhat [COUGH] of a kleptomaniac, and can't keep himself from taking things. It wasn't my fault I jumped to conclusions.

"Are you sure you didn't take it?" I ask, a little annoyed.

"I didn't take it!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

At this point, I feel a lump underneath my sweater, and I look down.

"Wait," We both say at the same time. "It's right there!"

Oops.

Everyone has those moments, don't they?

~Yaning

The 2010 Vancouver Olympic Winter Games

From February 12 to February 28, people across the world cheered on as their country's athletes fought for the highest honour of all, in sports history - an Olympic gold medal. As for us Canadians, we were anxiously waiting to see if Team Canada would finally be able break the curse of the "Home Soil Olympics" - never winning a gold medal on home soil. And we were not disappointed - the 2010 Olympics were by far Canada's best. From Alexandre Bilodeau's first medal that made history, right to our very last - one that we will never forget - Team Canada certainly made us Canadians proud this year. Even the most-uninterested people in sports couldn't help but get caught up in the Olympic spirit. Vancouver, you certainly have made Canada proud. :)

Here I will break down all of the medals won by our athletes this year.

The final result:
Gold: 14 <--- we made a new world record for most gold medals won in the Winter Olympics! Silver: 7 Bronze: 5 Total: 26 We were third in the overall number of medals, and first by number of gold medals!

Gold Medallists:
1. Alexandre Bilodeau ~ Freestyle Skiing - Men's Moguls
2. Maelle Ricker ~ Ladies' Snowboard Cross
3. Christine Nesbitt ~ Speed Skating - Ladies' 1000 m
4. Jon Montgomery ~ Men's Skeleton
5. Tessa Virtue, Scott Moir ~ Figure Skating - Ice Dance
6. Ashleigh McIvor ~ Freestyle Skiing - Ladies' Ski Cross
7. Canada 1 [Kaillie Humphries, Heather Moyse] ~ Women's Bobsleigh
8. Women's Hockey Team ~ Women's Ice Hockey
9. Charles Hamelin ~ Short Track Speed Skating - Men's 500 m
10. Charles Hamelin, Francois Hamelin, Olivier Jean, Francois-Louis Tremblay ~ Short Track Speed Skating - Men's 5000m Relay
11. Mathieu Giroux, Lucas Makowsky, Denny Morrison ~ Speed Skating - Men's Team Pursuit
12. Jasey Jay Anderson ~ Snowboard - Men's Parallel Giant Slalom
13. Men's Curling Team ~ Men's Curling
14. Men's Hockey Team ~ Men's Ice Hockey

Silver Medallists:
1. Jennifer Heil ~ Freestyle Skiing - Ladies' Moguls
2. Mike Robertson ~ Snowboard - Men's Snowboard Cross
3. Marianne St-Gelais ~ Short Track Speed Skating - Ladies' 500 m
4. Kristina Groves ~ Speed Skating - Ladies' 1500 m
5. Jessica Gregg, Kalyna Roberge, Marianne St-Gelais, Tania Vicent ~ Short Track Speed Skating - Ladies' 3000 m Relay
6. Canada 2 [Helen Upperton, Shelley-Ann Brown] ~ Women's Bobsleigh
7. Women's Curling Team ~ Women's Curling

Bronze Medallists:
1. Kristina Groves ~ Speed Skating - Ladies' 3000 m
2. Clara Hughes ~ Speed Skating - Ladies' '5000 m
3. Joannie Rochette ~ Ladies' Figure Skating
4. Francois-Louis Tremblay ~ Short Track Speed Skating - Men's 500 m
5. Canada 1 [Lyndon Rush, Chris Le Bihan, David Bissett, Lascelles Brown] ~ Men's Four-Man Bobsleigh

Congratulations to all of the athletes of Team Canada - you were all AWESOME! We really do look up to you because just to have enough courage to compete takes a lot of effort. Thank you - you really made Canada proud! We love you! :D

Report Cards?

Term 2 has come to a close, and with it comes every student's nightmare - REPORT CARDS!

Ok, so, maybe they aren't that bad. Most of my marks are pretty good, and I'm pretty happy with them.

[Well, expect for English. Ehhh... I don't think any of us want to talk about our English marks. Not that we don't normally do well in English, but this term was sort of unfair. We did these evaluations that were purely for the sake of recording our progress, like with CASI, but then they were marked. And inputed into our grades.]

For most of us [I don't know, do normal people with sane lives like to do this?], we like to compare our marks. A LOT. Not that we don't normally, but this goes a bit further. You get a full scope of all the subjects. And it's a good thing, I think, the comparing. When we see others do well, it pushes us to succeed, too. That doesn't mean our teachers have to like it. Ms. P. has already banned us several times from comparing marks after we get back tests. All for good reason, too. We're way too loud.

Then, there are the dreaded 3rd pages. I don't understand how some people can just come up with "reflections" just like that. It's hard! And worse, sometimes, your teachers make you do it before you get back your report card. How are you supposed to know if you did really well or not? I mean, you should have a general idea of your strengths and weaknesses, but at least let us confirm it with the actual report card!

Oh, and I don't think teachers like them, either. They all cram in last-minute assignments to get marks, and complain that they have to write so much for them. I don't blame them - even with a lot of copying and pasting the same phrases repeatedly, it's a lot of work. Although they might want to reread their comments, just in case they confuse the gender of the student they're referring to in the comments section.

No, really. In my grade 7 report card, which my teacher must have done in a hurry, they put down the wrong gender in the comments section. You know, the "He/she demonstrated blah blah blah...." Or, they were genuinely confused about my gender. You never know. In which case I would be highly offended. Or highly amused. Or both.

If teachers hate report cards, and we hate report cards, and the TDSB wastes paper by printing out umpteen copies of then, then why do we have them?

~Yaning

Er... If you people are wondering, I'm a girl. You can't tell from my name, so to avoid confusion, it's here.